Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon...
With the Yellow version.
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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