Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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Charlie Sheen winning?
Chuck Norris says "I think not."
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won.
No Questions asked.
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A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
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