Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.