Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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