Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!
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A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she gave me an ear infection over the phone.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
"Hey Bill... Do you talk to your wife while you are having sex?"
"Only if there's a phone handy", Bill replied.
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Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out.
Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences.
Then hang up.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Did you ever wonder how the moon got craters?
3 words: Chuck Norris Golf.
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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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