Did you hear about the 120-pound guy with the 30-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse. Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?" "About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies. The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a peace. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir." The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."
Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water? A: A soggy butt.
Silence is golden. Unless you have an infant. Then its probably blue.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.