A guy admired the hair of three girls.
He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair"
Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural."
The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?"
Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural."
Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?"
Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."
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A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know.
One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them.
The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway.
Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her.
"Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked.
Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges.
"Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma.
A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?"
Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
What's grosser than gross?
Ten babies in one mail box.
What's grosser than that?
One baby in ten mailboxes.
What's grosser than that?
Biting into a pickle and finding a vein.
What's grosser than that?
A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor.
What's grosser than that?
A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
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While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes.
"Wow! What a great idea," he thinks to himself and buys three of them.
Two weeks later, however, he goes back to using toilet paper.
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What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
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A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter.
She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake.
Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs.
The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!"
She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine."
Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
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A man visits his aunt in the nursing home.
It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.
Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts.
"I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!"
"That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
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Joke has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?
A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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