When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Chuck Norris once won a chess game after losing his king
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.