Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Chuck Norris is the reason why there's only one airbender left.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.