Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.