If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars. These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris once threw a pebble. We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Chuck Norris will be the star lead in the remake of the movie "300" it will now be called "1"
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.