Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.