Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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