Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common?
A: You push them both aside when you eat.
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When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me.
First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her.
Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder?
A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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A guy is going down on a prostitute.
During the process he pulls out a piece of corn.
Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues.
Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick."
The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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How do you unload a truck of zombie babies?
With a pitchfork.
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Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece?
A: He Married Her
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Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night, and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower.
Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall.
He wailed to Tom, "I can't believe you! We just finish making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says "What are you talkng about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
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A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye.
He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over.
The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him.
"You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."
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