What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine? A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind. It's all coming back to me now.
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
What do gays call hemorrhoids ? Speed bumps.
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."