Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
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Similar jokes
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Q: Why doesn't Tigger have any friends?
A: He plays with Pooh.
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There were two church-going women gossiping in front of the store when a dusty old cowboy rode up.
He tied up in front of the saloon, walked around behind his horse, lifted its tail and kissed the horse full on its rectum.
Repulsed, one of the women asked, "That's disgusting, why did you do THAT?"
To which the cowboy replied, "I've got chapped lips."
Confused, the women continued, "Does that make them feel better?"
"No, but it stops me from licking them!"
Three men walk into a bar.
The barman tells them, "If you can sit in my basement for a day, I'll give you free beer forever."
The first man walks out after five minutes and says, "It's impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there."
So the second man tries his luck, but can't take more than an hour.
Finally, the third man goes down.
When he returns a day later, the others ask him how he did it.
He says, "Easy! I took a dump in one corner and sat in the other corner!"
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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
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Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
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Q: How do you know you're in a vampire bar?
A: There's a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary.
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I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door.
He said, "Can I see your ticket please?"
"Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!"
He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?"
"No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn."
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What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?
Bait!
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Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag?
A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
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Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby?
A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
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