Chuck Norris was the Best Man at his own wedding.
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I used to hate weddings, all the old ladies would prod me and say "you'll be next!"
They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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"I want a divorce"!
"But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part."
"I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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Someone asked Chuck Norris to climb Mount Everest.
After his 10th endeavor, he wrote a book.
"Ten Different Ways to Climb Mount Everest"
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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