Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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