Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!