Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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Where was your mom last night?
At Chuck Norris' place.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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