Joke #7644

Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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has 70.69 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher

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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
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has 85.88 % from 7744 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, math, teacher, wedding
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 84.84 % from 1056 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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has 82.47 % from 1543 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
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has 80.60 % from 680 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, teacher
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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has 77.74 % from 359 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
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has 76.57 % from 756 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'" Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
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has 73.75 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher
Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!" Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords." But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it." Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain. "Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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has 73.03 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, vulgar
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
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has 72.92 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
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has 69.95 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher