Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework!
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
If you rate this kickass, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.