In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.