Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.