No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!