Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.