Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
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Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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