Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times.
He used a parachute twice.
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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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