Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg? Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other? A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.
What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
There was a man who just got out of the army. He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house. He told the women, "Gimme anything you got." So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside." She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom. 10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again. He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?" She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar? They are both stuck up cunts.
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.