Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.