How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
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How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
We are already 2 years together with my girlfriend and decided to get married.
My parents helped as much as they could and all my my friends said it’s a really good idea!
My girlfriend?
She is a dream!
But there is something that bothers me! This something is her little sister…
This is my future 20 years old sister-in-law , wearing a super skinny, mini skirts and short blouses.
Always lean ahead and I was often lucky to see her underwear.
She never did that in front of someone else!
One day she calls me and asks me to go home to see the wedding invitations.
When I arrived she was alone.
She whispered that soon I get married and that she has feelings for me for long time and that she thinks she cann’t overcome them.
She also said that she desperately wanted to have sex with me just once before I marry her sister.
I was shocked and could not say a word…
She said to me that she goes to bed and asked if I wanted to go up with her.
I froze and looked at her going up the stairs.
Going up, she took her panties off and threw it at me.
I stayed there for a moment and then ran to the door.
I opened it and I walked to the car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said: "I’m glad you passed this little test and I am sure that my daughter could not find a better man. Welcome to the family, my son!"
Moral Lesson: Always keep your condoms in your car!
A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"