Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.