Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
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The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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