The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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