The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets; he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
Chuck Norris walked into a bar. "OUCH!" said the bar.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.