The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn...
Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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