Joke #8049

Question: Why does Tigger smell? Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!

What job do rabbits at hotels have? Bellhop.

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man? A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"

Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!

A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.

Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.

What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!

Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.

What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.

A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time. In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while. Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him. "However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk. "In-stinct," replied Out.

Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever. The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late. Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late". The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day. He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?" Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week."