What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
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Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
What do reindeer say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you.
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Christy: I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Class: "Brotherly love."
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Vote:
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote:
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.