Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.