Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away. 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him. 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead. 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.