Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.