The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."