A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris. His voice is still up there today.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"