Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris can set water on fire.
He can also set fire on water.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Death once took Chuck Norris.
He regreted it.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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We only submit these facts so he doesn't kill us.
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