Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris knows who A is.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.