What do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin mobile.
How do the fairy-tales of the whites and the blacks differ? The stories of whites start: Once upon a time... The stories of blacks start: Yo, man, you won't believe what a f**k has happened to me...
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind? The dashboard.
Q: Where do one-legged people eat? A: IHOP.
Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Good News: A busload of lawyers ran off a cliff. The bus was destroyed and there were no survivors. Bad News: There were three empty seats.
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights..