Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
Chuck Norris is a hunter. But Chuck Norris does not hunt. That implies the possibility of failure.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.