One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
Q: What did the fool do with his first 50 cent piece? A: He Married Her
Q: What would Princess Diana be doing if she were alive today? A: Clawing at the lid of her coffin.
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated? "Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.