At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Q: Why are men like diapers? A: They are always on your ass and full of sh*t, and thankfully, they're disposable.
Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets? A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
A blonde buys a used sports car. However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop. The blonde calls a tow truck. The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again. "What was the matter?" she asks. "Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies. Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary? A: It runs in your genes.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!