Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS. Chuck Norris decides where he is.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc. The Black and Blueray.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.