When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
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Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.
When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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