Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
Chuck Norris failed recess because he dosent play games.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Chuck Norris actually painted all of the colors of the wind.
Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"